Generation X Perspective: Magan Crane
Dear Texas,
Ah yes, the always uncomfortable penis joke. Or butt joke. Or “and what kept you up so late last night young lady?” joke. I once had a boss who would chuckle like Beavis and Butthead just at the word “bed.” Laugh and you feel like a sell-out. Complain and you fear being labeled a humorless prig.
To figure out the right way to handle your situation, you need to ask yourself a number of smaller questions. Are you boss’s jokes vaguely sexual: “Junk email is making me worry about my breast size …” which, while unprofessional, might be funny. Or are they outright sexist: “I wonder if the new intern takes direction (wink, wink) …” which are always inappropriate. Are they general: “See anybody lift their shirts at the Mardi Gras party?” Or directed at you: “Obviously you aren’t getting emails about breast size …” The latter probably requires some serious action on your part, starting with documenting his behavior and following company policy on sexual harassment.
The answer is blurrier if your boss is more of an idiot that a real jerk. There was a time when I would have insisted that you should stand up and demand that he stop telling tasteless jokes. I would have said no job is worth putting up with anything that makes you uncomfortable. But I don’t really believe that anymore. A good job with a high salary and great health care can be worth putting up with a lot. More importantly, I’ve learned that our coworkers, even bosses, are just people. And as people, they are flawed. Your boss might not even realize that his behavior is making you nuts.
You say nobody else seems to mind, which frankly, is unlikely. If his sexual jokes really bother you, they probably bother other people who, like you, don’t know what to do. But only you can decide how much you would put up with and how much you are willing to risk to force a change.
