Distinguished Invincibelle: Neerja Raman

Q: What resources at Invicibelle.com do you think would help women who wish to come to this country?

A: The area in which you can help them the most is about self-empowerment. Help them to find the power within themselves and they can do whatever they need to do.

1. Give them role models to admire and emulate. The role model has to be someone who can fit into your value systems and must be actively doing something. This will help because women are very good at visualizing.

2. Buddy system is another way to empower, where you get a group formed and give peer mentoring.

3. Help with the big picture; think ethos level. We can teach them not to worry about the little stuff when on the way to doing something big. 

4. Workshops—teach how to leverage themselves in a multi cultural environment where you are going to be different from everybody else. How do you take that and turn it into an advantage?

You can help them to manage their weaknesses and build on their strengths by identifying key skills.

Guidance

Q: From your vast experience, what is your message for women who wish to either move to this country or are already here?
A: My advice to women who come to this country is to become main stream. Volunteer. Do things for the community. America is race conscious; Indians are new here. When you get accepted in the main stream you can alter the system faster working from within the system.

The next thing is to get accepted by women who have been here for generations and get them to see you as an asset. This might require some reprioritization. Indian women feel compelled to be home for their family so that their children don’t grow up as rebels. And they try to stick with their community rather than integrating with other women.

Women here indulge in guilt; and guilt is the most crippling of all emotions. In the past women either stayed home because it made them happy or they developed into powerful women, like business tycoons. These days this is not so. We have many examples of women building a career and trying to raise a family. It is possible to do both without guilt.

Everything in life is a choice. But you make the choice. If you do the value test in decision-making, then you have the courage to follow through on your convictions. You can take the decision that is right for you.