Are You a BlackBerry Addict?

We all know them: BlackBerry addicts.

They glance down at their laps during lunches, dinners, meetings. Their hands are hidden by a table but their upper arms are moving ever so slightly—enough that you know what their thumbs are doing.

My husband is one of the worst. I often wake up in the morning—before 6 a.m.—to see him lying on his back, his face awash in a neon green glow, his thumbs typing furiously at the contraption just inches above his nose.

One night, during a special holiday dinner at arguably the nicest restaurant in our city, I busted him checking his messages. It was Saturday night. We were dropping well over a hundred bucks on the meal.

You have a problem, I told him.

I was just making sure the babysitter hadn’t called, he lied. An addict will do and say anything to get his fix.

Of course, he is hardly alone. I had lunch with an old friend recently. Several times during our meal, she checked her messages. At first I acted like I didn’t notice. Then, I just asked her: Are you a BlackBerry addict?

Yes, she admitted. Totally. None of these e-mails are even important. I haven’t answered one message that couldn’t have waited until I got back to the office.

At least she knows she has a problem. That’s the first step, right?

The term CrackBerry is becoming standard, if humorous, nomenclature, as more people get hooked on checking e-mail on portable devices. All joking aside, it can become a problem, changing the dynamics of marriages and families, infringing on vacation time and certainly creating the need for new social etiquette rules. I have never had a BlackBerry, so if I were to offer advice, it might be like a teetotaler talking at an AA meeting. I therefore decided to ask experts for advice on two things: how to know if you have a problem and how to use a BlackBerry in a socially acceptable way.

First, I asked Norman Epstein, a professor in the Department of Family Studies at the University of Maryland, how to know if your BlackBerry has become a CrackBerry. Often, he says, the other people in your life will be the first to identify your problem.