“But he’s going to find out that I’m not going to pay for the Internet on it,” Calk says.
Jennifer Hartman, a principal at Greenleaf Financial Group, LLC in Los Angeles, says parents are wise to use restraint in buying expensive electronics for their kids.
“I think it’s ridiculous that so many young kids are just given all these things,” Hartman says. “Don’t ever buy them something really expensive for no reason. Let them take the fifty dollars they got from Grandma and the twenty dollars they got from their birthday and then work to earn the rest of the money.”
Hartman says parents have a responsibility to set reasonable expectations for their teens, especially as they approach the college years.
“Parents buying them all this stuff are setting expectations that aren’t realistic,” Hartman says. “When the kid graduates from college and has that first job making $30,000 or $40,000 a year, they’re not going to be able to afford that lifestyle.”
Calk agrees that it is important to set expectations and stick to them. For example, her children always knew they were not going to be given their own cars, so the topic has never been up for debate in their home.
“There was never even any thought that they might be able to convince us to buy them cars,” she says.
Christine M. Field, a mother of four children and the author of numerous parenting books, says she and her husband are insistent about making their children save up to buy high-ticket items, such as electronics. Field, who has written a book called Life Skills for Kids, says this approach teaches children to appreciate what they have.
“As the parent of three teen girls,” says Field, who lives in suburban Chicago, “I can say without a doubt that that which comes easily is not highly esteemed.”
