Two Incomes to One: Can You Afford to Be a Stay-at-Home Mom?

If one’s career is like a freeway, Brooke Wirtschafter took the off-ramp just before her first son was born five years ago.

She expected to take a relatively short break—maybe a year—before getting back on the road. Three kids later, Wirtschafter and her husband now believe it’s best for her to be a stay-at-home mom for the foreseeable future. Financially, that’s been an adjustment for the family. She used to earn about a third of the income.

“We didn’t have a really clear budget plan,” says the Los Angeles mother. “Philosophically, we wanted me to be home and we would do what it took.”

It can be hard to figure out whether your family can afford to go from two incomes to one. Most people don’t have a detailed understanding of where their money goes every month, plus it is hard to project how much children will cost, especially if you don’t know how many you will have.

Certified financial planner Karin Maloney Stifler says couples considering the shift should try living on one income, perhaps during the pregnancy. Most people can still pay their bills, she says, but need to test whether they are willing to sacrifice the extras.

“More often than not, it has to do with whether you are willing to make the hard choices,” she says.

Stifler, who works in Hudson, Ohio, recently advised a couple facing this choice. After some tears the couple decided the woman should cut back to part-time, instead of quitting altogether. “You have to find the balance,” Stifler says. “It is such a personal choice.”

Andrea Spatz, a certified financial planner in Los Angeles, recommends families write down everything they spend for a couple of months. A lot of dieters do this with food and realize just how many calories they are consuming by grabbing a cookie here or eating bites off someone else’s plate. The same thing happens when people look at where their cash is going. “It is very instructive,” Spatz says.

From there, analyze what expenses are fixed, such as a mortgage payment, and which expenses are discretionary. “If you are spending $20,000 on exotic travel every year, that is something you can do without,” she says.