“You have to be very specific with each other about what education means,” Hartman says. “Does it mean a state school, a private school, a bachelor’s degree, or a master’s degree?”
Different states have different laws about whether parents can be compelled to help pay for a child’s higher education. In South Carolina, the age of emancipation from one’s parents is eighteen, so that is when child support ends, Bultman says.
As a result, an area of law has developed around how divorced parents should pay for college. In deciding such cases, the state’s family courts look at very specific criteria, including whether the child demonstrates the ability to do well in college and whether the child could find other means of paying for college, Bultman says.
Other costs to consider include travel expenses incurred visiting the non-custodial spouse. Bultman recently had a case where the father was being transferred to work overseas and the cost of travel was going to be very expensive. In addition to the infrequent visits, they set up a video phone over the computer so the father could talk to and see his child more often.
When all the financial decisions are made and the ink is dry on the divorce papers, there are most likely still going to be some financial disagreements between parents. And this means parents have to protect their children from these stressful situations.
Whether you have millions in the bank or hardly any money at all, it’s essential to make sure that children don’t get caught in the middle of their divorced parents arguing about finances, says Ellen Marmon, a relationship specialist at Connections Counseling & Development Center in Atlanta.
Secondly, it’s essential that kids don’t hear their parents bad-mouthing one another over financial differences, Marmon says.
“They have a very deep understanding that they are part of their parents so if your kid even overhears you talking on the phone complaining about how Dad didn’t send the check this month, they may start thinking ‘If Dad is bad, then I am bad, too,’” Marmon says.
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