Many divorced parents encounter the classic problem where one parent lavishes gifts on the children. Marmon says this situation doesn’t have to be a huge problem as long as you know how to handle it.
“The kids can enjoy both sides of it,” Marmon says. “The benefit of having a lot of money is you get to do some neat things with the kids, but if you don’t have a lot of money, then you can teach them to enjoy the simple things, so there is a gift in both of those situations.”
She says it is important to talk to kids about the circumstances and explain that people do things differently without being derogatory to the other parent.
“You can tell them that ‘Yes, those things are really nice and it’s fine that your mom or dad is buying you that stuff, but that’s not all that life is about and we are going to focus on other things,’” she advises.
However, Marmon acknowledges that it’s not easy to be the parent with less money.
“Most of the time it’s the woman who doesn’t have a lot of money and the man is being ‘Disney dad,’” she says. “The parent with less money can start to feel insecure.”
But it’s important to remember that no matter how little money you have, you can always give your children the biggest gift of all—time.
“Kids are really much more interested in having their parents’ time and attention and having that connection with them, rather than having more stuff,” says Marmon, who is the mother of two boys.
