Sometimes, I wish I didn't care so much. "Stop thinking and your problems will end." Why can't I be content with not knowing? I never thought it would be so difficult. So, this past year I've tried to re-work my perspective and gain some insight into my uncertainness. Hoping I can attain some peace of mind along the way.
My father always told me that “if you can visualize, it you can attain it.” These words mean a lot to me because if anything, I love to daydream. I do it all the time. I know what my dream house looks like. I know what my life 10 years from now feels like. I know that ultimately I will be happy. My daydreams are what inspire me. My husband is often amused when he finds me mid-daydream. I have that starry look in my eye and complete contentment written all over my face. Daydreaming is what I do best these days. I figure if I can dream up these awesome scenarios of what my life could be like then they're entirely possible, right?
So, this year it’s my goal to surrender to not knowing and to trust the journey in trying to figure it out. I've got less than 2 months before I turn 30 and all I know is that I know what I don't want to do, I know what it means to work hard, I know what it feels like to succeed, I know what it feels like to fail, I know when to surrender, I know when to keep going and I know that I better damn well know before I turn 40!!
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