Mars to Venus

A Husband’s View of Her Post-Work Vent-a-Thon
Being the husband of a successful professional woman means not only supporting and admiring her, but also, on occasion, serving as a virtual sounding board at the end of the day. At times my wife has come home so caught up in the latest political twist-and-turn of her work life saga that she immediately launches into a reenactment of some particularly dramatic or frustrating moment, with props and all. It actually gets a bit Twilight Zone once in a while, as though she thinks she’s been magically transported back to the moment, unaware that she’s actually in our living room and hasn’t even put down her briefcase yet.

As a reporter I generally manage to steer clear of work politics myself, and as a man I find when I’m chewing on some source of angst at work, I’d just as soon forget about it for the night and take care of it the next day.

Not so for the professional woman in my life—and, I suspect, millions like her.
 
Like many husbands, I do my best to help. I’ve learned a few critical tricks of the trade: delaying the onslaught briefly while her mind slows from 100 mph to about 75; caring as much as she does; focusing on solutions; and never underestimating the mind-numbing power of a sitcom.

Fortunately, we usually manage to clear her mind enough to have some relaxation time and let us both sleep peacefully. (Note: No guy wants to hear his wife talking about work in her sleep.)

And while I’m happy to share how-to-survive-evening-venting tips with other men, I’m also a big fan of everyone learning to let work troubles go—and having a moment of Zen before walking in the door.

I’d offer suggestions, but I don’t know how I do it. It just happens.

In fact, many of my crazy workdays have been followed by this exchange:

My wife: What did you do today?

Me: I have no idea.

Her at Work vs. Her at Home
My wife stood in front of a group of people, feet planted firmly on the ground, arms flailing through the air, staunchly demanding that everyone help separate her M&M’s by color, hand-deliver them to her “trailer” and have Denzel Washington feed them to her.