Nadine, noticin’ we were there, looked up at me with her lips squeezed together like she had been sucking a lemon, and said simply, "Buzz off dipstick.”
This fine southern woman was the first person to call me this name, but for sure not the last. My ex-wife and her lawyer have almost made it almost a love term. I worked my chew to the right side of my mouth as I wondered if dipstick was a big city love name. Bill, smarter than he looks, course he would have to be, pushed his hat back on his head as his brain kicked into overdrive.
“Nadine,” he said softly, “What are you doin’ to Larry? He’s studyin’ to be a Baptist preacher.”
Back then most folks will never mess with two things, the church and my uncle Henry.
She screamed, “What?”
In a flash she was off of Larry, the two girls were in her car, and only a cloud of dust showed were the car used to be.
“Larry,” Bill said as he took a long swig of his almost empty beer, “what’s the matter son? I told you she had a big smile.”
I laughed and Bill was on me faster than my grandpa would have been on an egg suckin’ dog. “What are you laughin’ at? Didn’t the bearded lady tickle your fancy?” With a disgusted look on his face, he shook his head and got into his momma’s car. As he placed both of his hands on the steerin’ wheel he turned to us and said, "Don't you guys know ugly is only skin deep?"
Sure, ugly is only skin deep, if your date is good lookin’, and not the ugly one. Then all of this skin deep beauty stuff gets personal. ‘Sides, I didn’t make ‘nough money to keep me and that woman supplied with chewin’ tobacco and razors.”
Art by W.R. Benton
