The Honey Bucket

Now, there are some social rules associated with the proper and formal use of the honey bucket. Always remember, nummer two is frowned upon and ya are expected to empty the pot immediately after a nummer two and emptying the pot immediately kinda voids its use to start with. I mean, if ya gotta go, and if ya use a honey bucket, then ya have to empty it, why not just use the outhouse? The second rule is ya never, I mean never, fill the bucket up to within one inch of the top. The person that has to empty it, it may very well be ya, in the mornin’ will thank ya. I would prefer to walk through a minefield blindfolded than carry a full honey bucket.

Now, if y’all are visitin’ the south and have to, well, ya know, ya ain’t gonna find no honey bucket within site. Nope, it is there, but our social graces have standards. And, those standards state very clearly that honey buckets are kept outta sight. Relax a bit, it is there, if y’all know where to look. Jus’ look unner the bed or in the closet fer the honey bucket. Both locations are typical fer proper social storage of southern honey buckets and us southerners are real stickers fer social rules and all. That’s why we don’t spit chewin’ tobacco juice on the floor when we go to church. We do have our culture.

So, the next time it is too cold or wet to run to the outhouse, find yer buns (literally heah) a honeybucket. Remember yer balance, no fillin’ within one inch, if ya number two, ya take ‘er out.   So far are y’all following me heah? I’ve tried to go slowly and ‘splain the whole shebang, but I know jus’ as shore as Bubba’s beagle chases parked cars, some of y’all ain’t hear’d none of what I done wrote. But, that’s ok, cause its yer turn in the mornin’ to smell the honey . . . yep, you get to empty the honey bucket. Sleep well now, heah?