The Manly Man?

But aching or not, my manliness did not depart with the perfectly packed moving van. When Celia and I got home from Greenwich, and after my hands had thawed from the single-digit temperatures, I did something so manly that I surprised even myself. We had purchased a coat rack shortly after we moved into our apartment, and it had yet to be installed. Suddenly I knew that I was riding on a rip-tide of manliness. Finally installing that coat rack could—possibly—solidify my manly credentials at least enough to tide me over to the next wood-splitting opportunity. I got out a cordless drill my parents had bought me for my last birthday (unused as of yet), and got set for the task at hand.

Still wearing my wool shirt and Carhartts from the move, I took the cordless drill out of its case. Using the hook on its handle, I hung it on my pants’ thigh pocket. For good measure (and to balance things out), I hung a hammer on the other side of my pants (in the built-in the hammer loop), and stuck a small level in my back pocket. Then I walked around the apartment asking Celia if I looked manly.

At first she said things like: “Sure, babe,” and “You look sexy no matter what you’re wearing.” This was flattering, but not what I wanted. So I stuck a pencil behind my ear, tucked my shirt into my Carhartts, put on some red suspenders and an Elmer Fud cap and continued to pester her until she relented and admitted what I had known all along: that with my drill and hammer and level and pen and Carhartts and wool shirt and suspenders and cap I looked damn manly.

Then it was time to actually do some work. I opened the 175-piece drill bit set that my parents had given me with the drill. It took me about forty-five minutes to figure out which drill bit was the right size. (I’m not very experienced with this sort of thing.) I held the coat rack against the wall, used my level to square it up, and drilled two holes, one on either end of the rack. I used the drill to zip two screws into place, securing the rack to the wall. Manly job done. Man card secure.