Planet Earth: The Best Show on Television … Ever

Why is Planet Earth (Discovery Channel, Sunday at 8 p.m.) the best television show ever broadcast? Because it’s everything—an all-encompassing, systematic scientific study; a scenic, eye-popping wonder; a massive categorization of wildlife; a comprehensive journey through natural space; and a thorough examination of details. It’s every molecule of air, water, sand, dirt, and salt; a breaking down of every nuance, every ebb and flow, every reason for this or that; all we see, all we feel, all we touch; a view of what is here living and breathing, continents away or in the park across the street—it brings it all to you, raw and up close.

Unequivocally, it’s the first form of media that completely and universally relates to the entire human race. Whether you live in Costa Rica or Australia, China or the US, it’s all the same: this is our planet, our shared home. Obviously, as the most intelligent inhabitants, we are the supreme rulers—meaning we collectively own it all. With this inherent knowledge, Planet Earth is watchable across the globe, regardless of language or culture.

Of course, there’s the awe in our world’s expansive natural glory, but also in the poignant realities that occur every moment on the plains, the rivers, lakes, ocean, grasslands, forest, jungles, mountains, beaches, and so on, and so on. There are these breathtaking environments and the stories of the animals that inhabit them. Cut to a polar bear swimming for two days straight in freezing Artic waters to find food. When he finally reaches land, he tries to take down a full-grown walrus—something he’d never attempt unless he was starving. Alas, he fails … only receiving for his laborious effort deep Walrus tusk gashes in his knees. In a heartbreaking scene, he slowly collapses … lying down on the Artic beach to die, just yards away from the walruses he harassed only minutes before.

Don’t worry; it isn’t all teary-eyed blood and guts. There are plenty of ultra-cute moments—like the two cuddly Grizzly Bear cubs frolicking in a crystal clear creek. And, of course, there are incredible stories of love and compassion—like that of the Arctic’s Emperor Penguins that bear frigid weather and a long trek to birth their young.

Yes, these are the real realities of life, not the ones that we see on shows like American Idol or Wife Swap. In fact, those all seem so extensively trivial in comparison. In other words, to put those “reality shows” side by side with Planet Earth isn’t even laughable—it’s depressingly ridiculous.

Like any landmark form of media—whether it be writing, music, static visual art, film or, in this case, television—the federal government should require all upright walking, two-legged homo sapiens with the capacity for abstract thought to “take in” this masterpiece, this hunk of gold shimmering brightly in a cave of worthless rock.