What the W Said to the U and the V

By: Sara Musfeldt (View Profile)

It’s time I spoke up. I’ve had enough of this treatment. I’m tired of following you both. I’m tired of doing all the work.

It’s not enough that people confuse us so often, so frequently reversing our order and then being corrected with phrases like, “Oh, that happens often. The three are so similar.”

The thing is that we’re not that similar. Not only am I used more often, but my sound is pronounced much more clearly. I mean U no one even notices your presence because you’re so quiet. See right there, three words in a row where you just slipped right in with all the other letters.

And V, if I weren’t there to start things off I really don’t think we’d see you that often. A great example of that are the words whatever, weave, and wave. I think I have shown myself here.

I also don’t appreciate looking like the two of you. It’s bad enough that my name is “double u.” Give me a break. I can’t even get my own unique character?

Now U, I know what you’re going to say. It’s not your fault, you didn’t name yourself or me, but I still think you could’ve spoken up.

Now, back to my point about my size. I’m not fat and I don’t know why I have to appear that way to most of the other letters. Let’s please not forget about M. He can get really huge!

It’s true, I take up more space and I have three points at the top and two points on the bottom with four lines connecting them all. I’ve heard the linguists say that the W is unique for this reason and I guess I can see that, but try explaining this to my lowercase all the time. She’s tired of being picked on and it’d just be nice if he fit in with the other small letters. A soft curve or even one less angle might help her out.

V, calm down. I need this opportunity to let this out. I’m sorry that I hurt your feelings; I know you’ve been lifting weights to beef up, it’s really working. I see in cursive writing every day how more and more people are using you to take up more space especially on the left angle going up.

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posted: 07.05.2008
Emma Payton
Venerable!
posted: 03.21.2008
Andrea LeJeune
Great story, its one I can share with my workers that would inspire team spirit.
posted: 03.19.2008
S Cayce
Awesome! I, too, would love to see more stories on how the rest of the alphabet feels. Very imaginative.
posted: 03.18.2008
Rebecca Brown
Hilarious! I want to know how the rest of the letters are feeling.
posted: 03.04.2008
Caitlin Goebel
What a funny story. I didn't know what to expect at first but I was laughing out loud by the end. And "Y" is beautiful and underused! Great story, keep writing!
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