Twenty Question Interview: Rob Delaney

1. Where are you from?   

I am from Marblehead, Massachusetts, a delightful little fishing village near Boston.

2. What is your occupation?   

I am an uncommonly gifted stand-up comedian.

3. What is the best thing about working in New York?   

The best thing about working in NY is that whenever you’ve clocked out from your rewarding job (a field where you’re totally an amazing luminary), you can choose from thousands of restaurants that serve cuisine from all over this crazy planet ... including Italy!

4. If you could, what would you change about the city? 

I would make it legal to shoot cab drivers who honk their horns unnecessarily, i.e. ever.

5. What was the strangest thing that happened to you while commuting or traveling?   

Once, on the subway, a handsome man got on and stood near me. I was holding a pole (safety first!) and the handsome man gripped the same pole. He then moved his hand down onto mine ... like a lover would do! I was surprised and moved my hand down away from his. Then, he moved his hand onto mine again! This happened a few more times and I began to giggle … suggesting that I enjoyed his game … which honestly, I did a little bit.

6. Have you ever had a train crush or a train, plane, bus, love, episode?  

Yes! Once, I was on a bus in Paris and we were rounding the Arc de Triomphe. The bus stopped short to avoid a motorcycle. Everyone flew forward and I landed literally on top of a very beautiful woman. I, however, did not speak French well enough to capitalize on this spontaneous horizontal event and we just sort of stared at each other until I got off the bus to buy some berets and baguettes.  

7. If you could commit a crime and not get caught, what would it be?  

I would throw Tyra Banks into a big bucket of mayonnaise. She is bad for America with all her stupid talk and pooh-pooh shows.