I love road trips. I adore looking out on endless dusty concrete highways. I crave the smell of cow dung and orange orchards. I count down the days until I can bust out the latest Mary Higgins Clark book on my cassette player and rock out as I set my cruise control to a swift seventy-three.
The best part of a road trip is not the McDonald’s every three miles, the license plate game, or the roadkill. The best part of a road trip—by far—is the gas stations. No, I don’t have a fetish for spending $68 to fill up my station wagon. I just love the crazy assortment of random things I always find as the perfect gift for someone I know. Here are some of my favorite pit-stop gifts:
Poop Drops
It’s a childhood remedy I try to repress … Lake Tahoe … family vacation … twelve people … two bathrooms … After seven pieces of jerk chicken, a half-pound of coleslaw, and three slices of key lime pie, we all had to go. For the next four hours, the bathroom was a scary place to enter. My friend told me about magical drops you drip into the pot to eliminate all odors. One fateful drive, I found them. It was like the Holy Grail for my nose and the yellow-daisy wallpaper in the guest bathroom.
The Popener
I once stopped at a Union 76 Station for gas, churros, and trashy magazines. Just as I was about to pay and bounce, I saw the most perfect and amazing gift—the Popener. The Popener is a beer-bottle opener decorated with the picture of Pope John Paul II. It’s the quintessential juxtaposition of gas station kitsch meets Christian holy idol.
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