Nature’s Platform
Here’s a product that at least allegedly has a purpose. Nature’s platform is a chunk of wood that you put on top of your pisser. Then you stand on it, squat down, and take a dump. I suggest reading their Seven Advantages of Squatting for some insight on “a more complete elimination.” They say that two-thirds of the world squat when they crap. What they don’t say is that they squat not for their health, but because they don’t have access to a toilet.
Photo source: Nature’s Platform
Richard Simmons’ Dance Your Pants Off
Every time I see Richard Simmons, I wonder what the heck he is thinking, and what the heck America is thinking for allowing someone like him to be famous. When I saw this video Dance Your Pants Off, I instantly became violently upset. I refuse to dance my anything off for a mullet-sporting, daisy-duke wearing former fatty.
Photo Source: Amazon
Solar Powered Bra
A leading lingerie manufacturer from Japan invented a solar-powered brasserie. This over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder has a solar panel that generates electricity to power a mini electronic bulletin board. The bra padding can be used to store water or vodka that can be consumed from a straw inserted into the bra’s cup. I shake my head; I wonder—why?
Photo source: Green Launches
Everybody dreams about getting rich quick. I just beg that people stop and think before making more useless crap for the American market. After all, we are in an environmental and economic crisis. My next free twenty is going to gas—not the turd twister.
