Lucy, Laura & Me

In my book, Lucy Ricardo of I Love Lucy and Laura Petrie of The Dick Van Dyke Show are the Queens of madcap, homespun hilarity. But there are days I could compete. Now, I’m not saying I’m in the ‘candy assembly line’ or ‘inflatable rubber raft’ league, but my loved ones have been treated to more than a few familial belly laughs at my expense. Let’s see, when was the last time something kooky happened to me? Hmm, could it have been…today?

I’m still recovering from this morning’s escapade, and as a public service I’m going to risk your ridicule and share my experience. I’m an environmentally sensitive person, and as such I’m prone to experimenting with ‘green’ solutions to household problems.  I heard via a non-toxic, ecological and organic blog, which I regard with roughly the same reverence as Moses did the Burning Bush, that cayenne pepper will deter animals of the feline persuasion from using your flower beds as their personal litter box. Apparently each and every cat within a three-mile radius considers my rose garden to be this city’s most desirable place to squat. A compliment, I suppose.

But upon learning that I had something right in my own cupboard that might encourage these creatures to take their adulation elsewhere, I immediately went to work scattering large amounts of (exceedingly potent) cayenne pepper throughout my garden. Timing is everything. My husband and children came home just in time to find me wracked with a fit of a violent sneezing worthy of a Claritin commercial. They claimed they could actually see the contents of my nose spewing into the air as they rounded the corner and pulled into the driveway. Somehow, this was funny to them.

In retrospect, I now see something important that I failed to consider. It should probably have been obvious, even to someone who doesn’t read Martha Stewart Living. I’m speaking of the wind. The only time of day in our neighborhood when there isn’t wind to rival that of Kitty Hawk is around 3 AM. Well, I’m an ‘in the moment’ kind of gal.  I pass GO and collect my $200 and never look back. Now, this can be positive trait in many situations, but in this particular scenario? Not so much.

If the pepper idea had come to me at 3 AM I’d have probably dragged myself out of bed and accomplished the whole thing without a hitch, but no such luck.