A Very Hairy Issue

When you’re itching for a NFL fix even the NFL owners meetings create a sense of arousal. Sad, isn’t it?

How I would love to be a fly on the wall during the meetings. What happens when a roomful of fat cat owners, a group of old white guys with millions of dollars invested in a game and a team, for the profitability of the enterprise, for bragging rights and ultimately for ego stroking; come together to discuss the state of their business? Do they drink Gatorade? Do they wear their teams’ jerseys? Do they go to bed by eight PM after a long day of NFL BS? Do they get along? Do they talk about each other behind their backs? Do they share dirty little secrets? Do they bad mouth the coaches and players who have given them grief over the years?

I imagine that these annual meetings are pretty much like the standard fare offered at annual corporate meetings. Lots of bad food, insincere conversation, mountains of boring information, statistics and charts, not enough sleep and way too much alcohol.

Given that these men are multi-millionaires and probably not very interesting. (Is it true that Al Davis needs a bib when he eats, or that Jerry Jones’ botox-riddled face makes him look eerily similar to the Joker in Batman?)

Let’s see, which owner would I like to spend an evening with?

• Tom Benson might be interesting; he sure seems like a party animal when he does his “Benson Boogie” afterSaints home game victories.
• Dan Snyder, Mr. Big Bucks might know how to have a good time.
• Jerry Jones, Jerry Jones always seems to have something to say, about everything.
• Al Davis, the mystery man is from Brooklyn and that alone makes time spent with him worthwhile. But the rest of them, not so much.

The league has placed some rather interesting issues on the agenda for this year’s meeting. One discussion possibly headed into dangerous waters is the collective bargaining agreement.

Some of the other issues on the agenda this year:

• Reseeding the playoffs
• Using instant replay on field goals and extra points to see if a kick has gone through the uprights.
• Eliminating the forceout on receptions at the sideline or back of the end zone, meaning a receiver must get two feet inbounds.
• Deferring a choice for winning the opening coin toss to the second half.
• Not allowing a player’s hair to cover the nameplate or number on the back of the uniform, an idea brought up by Kansas City.

Results: The owners did pass several resolutions, including eliminating the forceout on receptions; allowing teams to defer their decision to the second half when winning the opening coin toss; and making field goals and extra points subject to replay review to determine whether the ball passes over the crossbar and through the uprights.