Paul Rice – Green Bay Packers fan living in Colorado. I thought this guy took the prize. His wife calls him husband-head. I like it, he fits the part perfectly. When he watches the games on Sunday and runs out of beer he shakes the can in the air so she can fetch a fresh brew. If Mrs. Husband-Head tries to talk to him during the game he tells her to “stop it.” If he can’t take it anymore and needs to distance himself from his harsher comments he channels them through a Halloween skull, and talks through “skully.” Mrs. Husband-Head is pretty football clueless which seems to add to his anxiety as she asks stupid questions, especially when the Pack is losing!
For crying out loud, I feel your pain bruddha.
Bob “Hopalong Bragalone” The Cowboy Fan. Bob’s mission in life is to indoctrinate everyone around him about the Cowboys. He is also trying (has been trying for seven years) to teach his wife the game of football so that she can share in his fanaticism. I got the feeling that if she hasn’t gotten it yet, she’s never going to “get it.” But he tries valiantly.
Bob has turned his home into a Cowboys shrine. Seriously this guy has a whole room covered with cases full of Cowboys memorabilia including life size players’ dolls. When Mrs. Bob tries to get him to do something for her, he negotiates with her to keep her off his back. He is really adept at saying things like, “one more minute honey,” “okay wait until they score,” “okay next commercial.” The guy’s a lawyer and it shows. He says his wife is a “sacrificial fan!” No doubt.
Holy Batman it’s the Borg Brothers – Minnesota Vikings Fans. The Brothers Borg have their very own version of the Bat Cave, it’s called the Man Cave.
Every Sunday (and probably Monday and Thursday) the Borg Brothers go down to their sanctuary below the house and enter the Man Cave. There they can focus their complete and undivided attention on football. The Man Cave has three televisions and two laptops. There is nothing, football-related being transmitted over cyberspace that the Brothers Borg don’t know about.
