Breaking News
Roger Clemens answers tough questions.
Q: Did you take steroids?
A: No
Q: Did you have an affair with then fifteen-year-old Mindy McCready?
A: No
Q: Is your name Roger Clemens?
A: No, oops I misremembered.
Maybe we can supply Rocket Man with some ginkgo biloba for his memory issues. Looking for love in all the wrong places, Roger is living out a country western song.
“The Ballad of Roger The Dodger Clemens.”
I was a fool for loving you and I know that it was wrong. But I can’t remember what I do, especially when I’m on my “roids”.
Where the hell is Columbo when you need him? How’s about we call Monk and have him obsess about the actions of one of America’s baseball heroes?
Joe DiMaggio where are you when we need you?
Mamas don’t let your sons grow up to be morons and idiots.
Not only is Roger trying to dodge steroid use questions now he is being accused of a relationship with an underage girl.
To make matters worse, the shit is hitting the fan at warp speed as heretofore hidden secrets of the rich and famous ball player are making their way across the internet.
Breaking News
The New York Daily News reports that Clemens and Mindy McCready were lovers when she was only fifteen-years-old and Roger was twenty-eight, a married father of two and the Red Sox’ best pitcher.
“I cannot refute anything in the story,” McCready tearfully told the Daily News yesterday.
Breaking News
Wife of retired pro-wrestler “Brutus ‘The Barber’ Beefcake” claims accused baseball bad boy Roger Clemens made a pass at her eighteen years ago, but the married Red Sox [team stats] ace never reached first base.
Breaking News
Barbara Leslie, forty-three, of Winchester—then a comely waitress at the celeb-magnet Palace nightclub in Saugus—claims that in her brush with the Rocket, he said, “‘What would you do if I tried to kiss you?’ ” and she replied, “‘What would your wife say if you tried to kiss me?”
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