The Middle Finger

The middle finger ... when standing tall all alone while the other fingers are bent in humility around it, is a symbol of negativity.

The middle finger ... all by itself, means “fuck you.”

The middle finger ... a flag of hatred and a weapon of un-mass destruction.

When surrounded by its neighboring fingers, the middle is nothing more than the longest and third piece to the greater picture known as the hand. But when it is presented as a solo show, its connotation can spark anger and controversy.

But it’s just a finger—a crumby old finger.

A lady gave me the finger today from her car. She delivered it when she cut in front of me before entering the freeway. She delivered it in such a manner that was violent and passionate at once... her fist shook as that middle finger shot way up into the air from her driver’s side window. She held it strong and fierce, and let it linger for a good five seconds.

I was stunned. I was getting the finger! From someone who had cut ME off! I thought, “If anyone should be sticking their middle finger way up into the air and pointing it at someone like a buffoon, it should be me, at her!”

We both stopped at a red light, and I rolled down my window to have a little chat with her before the light turned green. Here’s what went down:

Me: Why did you give me the finger?
Lady: You were speeding up when I was trying to change lanes!
Me: I’m sorry, I didn’t notice your left turn signal.
Lady: You must be blind!
Me: I hope the rest of your day is happier for you.

That statement seemed to anger the lady even more.

Lady: Get a life!
Me: (Giving the peace sign) You’re a beautiful woman! Peace!
Lady: Fuck off, bitch!

Of course, getting such a horrific response from a peace offering made no sense to me whatsoever. Perhaps she thought I was being condescending. Perhaps she’d had a bad day. Whatever the reason, that lady showed me her middle finger ... the apex of her frustration and anger ... almost like a laser ... her irritation and displeasure and outrage and ire all concentrated in that long, slender digit like poisonous venom just waiting to be released. But it was still just a finger.

I washed my hands thoroughly when I got home.