Tips on Holiday Tipping

AOL is cheap. I just took their holiday tipping quiz. If I adhered to their guidelines, the attendants in our garage would “key” the car door, my hair colorist would “forget” the formula, the super in our building would release mice in the hall and our newspaper delivery person would toss the paper yet further away.

This chintziness might account for the AOL spam screeners being a disgruntled bunch, which explains why I continue to get Nigerian offers, reminders that my non-existent bank account is in need of being updated and bogus notifications that pretend to have come from paypal, which are “phishing” attempts.

Maybe the AOL amounts work elsewhere, but everything is more costly in New York, particularly celebrating the holidays.

Dog walkers get $100 for a purebred, $150 if they have to suffer the humiliation of tugging around a mutt.

You’ll be hailing your own taxis if you don’t come through with at least $100 for each surly doorman.

An underappreciated physical trainer, meaning someone who gets less than the cost of one session, has been known to inspire rotator cuff injuries.

The local subway musician expects enough for a dinner at Babbo.

The manicurists at nail salons look sad if you give them less than $50. If you want them to sterilize and use Quick Dry, go higher.

If in doubt: anyone who slows down and makes eye contact should probably get at least $25. If they wish you a happy holiday, double it. If they have a weapon, toss over your wallet and run like hell.