The Ick Clause

I didn’t expect them to choose me. I didn’t think I even stood a chance. But when I got the call that I’d been selected as the newest roommate in an apartment I’d applied for, I was secretly thrilled. They’d picked me!

I was surprised because over twenty-five people were at the showing. The apartment was inside a pretty, old Victorian home in San Francisco—in a beautiful, safe, and highly coveted neighborhood to live in. That’s probably why the atmosphere at the showing was more than a little cutthroat; many of my competitors were elbowing their way to the front of the crowd and asking silly questions just to draw attention to themselves. After giving us a tour of the apartment, the roommates asked us all to write a bio about ourselves, to help them jog their memories as they reviewed the applicants to make their decision. Apparently, my bio did the trick, because I got a call the very next day from one of the roommates offering me the apartment.

It seems crazy to me now that I would ever have entertained the notion of living with four other people, but I’d just started over in a brand new career and I was making next to nothing. I needed a place to live and this neighborhood seemed like a safe option. The price was right, so I called the landlord and set up a time to sign the lease.

In hindsight, I should’ve listened to the warning flags my gut tried to wave when I met him. He was a true super-Christian, the kind who loads every conversation with random bits of scripture, a bunch of amens, and questions like, “Have you asked the Lord Jesus Christ to be your Savior yet?” I’ve got nothing against Christianity, but my past experiences have taught me that when people over-Jesus me, there’s usually a reason. Maybe they’re afraid of something, like getting older and dying. Or maybe they’re ashamed, like prisoners who’ve brutally murdered people and are hoping that their overzealous love of Jesus will make up for their past wrong-doings. I should’ve recognized that this was exactly what my new landlord was doing as he said to me, “Oh, I did some bad things when I was younger, I did. I’m not proud. But the Lord Jesus Christ has forgiven me, and I’m walking a more righteous path now.” How bad could whatever he did really be? A few days later, I found out.