The Ick Clause

By: Rebecca Brown (View Profile)

It was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made, but in the end, I decided not to move in. Home is supposed to be a safe haven and peaceful refuge from the outside world. I knew I would never feel quite right living there, but to this day, my decision still grates on my conscience.

I’m thankful for the technology that allows us to see who lives in our neighborhoods so we can keep a watchful eye out for potential trouble. But I also wonder, can too much information sometimes block the path to our peace and happiness? Would I have ever felt safe knowing that thirteen convicted rapists lived on the same block of my old apartment building? Would I have memorized the faces of those rapists and potentially seen them in every person I passed on the street? Would I have been less friendly with my neighbors, causing me to miss out on some great friendships? I’m not sure.

The whole situation only strengthened my belief that sometimes ignorance really is bliss. But sometimes it’s just downright dangerous.

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Comments
posted: 07.16.2008
Aria Leigh
I'm not one to judge much but I definitely think you made the right choice. You want to feel comfortable at home. And it's odd to me that he would go into the apartment daily...in NJ as far as I know, the landlord cannot enter your apartment more than 3 times a month or something like that, and that's only if there's an issue with the apartment. And aren't sex offenders supposed to state that they're sex offenders upon meeting people? You need to protect yourself and be happy.
posted: 07.10.2008
Jamerica
I think you made the right decision. It's best to go with your gut, there are so many "what-if's" if you had stayed there.
posted: 04.30.2008
Corvidae
As a guy I have to say you did the right thing. As often as men seem completely clueless when a woman gives a hint, women often seem completely clueless to just how dangerous a man can be. A guy that's proven himself dangerous is just that, dangerous. Even if they later repent and reform, they're people you meet in public places or with other friends around. As for the other side of things, the guy would probably be better off with a well adjusted male room mate. People tend to mirror those they like, so a close role model could be just what the doctor ordered for him.
posted: 04.30.2008
Justgroovy
Be comforted; you did the right thing. As a Christian myself I can applaud the landlord for turning his life around and getting himself right with God, but I sense another problem when he was not straight forward with his past. His willingness to obfuscate his criminal past hints at a deeper character issue that he still has not dealt with. You were wise to respond to the warning signs you were feeling and walk away from the situation, no matter how much you needed that place to call home. Unfortunately we live in a world full of sinful behavior and ones that have broken the laws and been caught we can sometimes avoid, as in your story. It is those who still walk in anonymity that we must fear. That is a lesson I am teaching to my daughter; be aware of who you are with and who is watching you, and listen to any uneasiness your heart may have.
posted: 03.22.2008
Sabrina
On the one hand, it probably wouldn't have had a lot of bearing on your living situation and if you hadn't seen the web site you would have probably never found out about his past. On the other, does he truly deserve forgiveness? Are his victims ever going to lead the lives they would have if he hadn't abused them? What he did isn't a stupid, tragic mistake like changing a radio station on a rainy night and plowing into a car head on. It was a calculated choice that hurt at least one child and maybe others as well. He knowingly did violence against a person. I don't know how God will look upon his actions, but I know I'm a far sight short of divinity and I would tend to judge him pretty damn harshly.
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