Do you want to be my neighbor?
If you’re willing and able to pay $3500 a month, then you can move right across the street from me. Well, technically, you need $10,500 to get started since they want two months deposit plus the first month’s rent upfront.
I know. That’s a whole lot of cash. But, if you’re just dying to move to LA and you happen to have the money sitting around collecting dust, then seriously, you should come be my neighbor.
Let me tell you a little bit about your potential new home: It’s a small, one-story house that used to be so ridiculously run down that cobwebs and black cats hung off the front porch year round. I was never sure what color the house was before. The exterior paint always seemed to be an odd peachy beige color, but it was covered with such a thick layer of dirt, that I just couldn’t tell for sure.
Some old lady that we never saw lived there for a long time. The rumor is that she bought the house around twenty-five years ago, back when houses went for $50K in this neighborhood instead of for $800K like they do now. And then she died and her kids chose to sell.
The new owners decided to rehab and rent out the place. These invisible owners hired some gross contractors to slap up some stucco siding on the outside and replace the windows. I watched these guys work all last summer, sweaty potbellies on full display. Eww! Needless to say, I was grateful when they stopped working on the exterior and instead migrated to the inside of the house.
This morning, I finally saw a big “For Rent” sign hanging out front. Since the door was open, I strolled over to check things out and ended up meeting the new owner. I told him I live across the street and asked if I could view the new and improved house.
He showed me around, proudly pointing out the hardwood floors and faux marble countertops. All that was great, but I was really hooked on the fact that there are three bedrooms and two full bathrooms.
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