Jesus Removed from Stores in Singapore

Jesus was removed from stores in Singapore after consumers complained, offended not by Jesus the savior, but by the brand, “Lookin’ Good for Jesus,” a company whose logo showed Jesus flanked by two adoring young women fondly gazing up at him. Critics considered the approach disrespectful and distasteful, including the “virtuous vanilla” lip balm. Nobody mentioned my concern—that the expiration date on a product associated with Jesus could be far more ominous than one stamped by L’Oreal.

Promising to “Redeem your reputation and more,” the line included a “Get Tight with Christ” hand and body cream, “Follow in his footsteps” bubble bath, a shopping bag with a kitschy image of Jesus (reusable so suitable for trips to Whole Foods) and a coin purse for $3.99 whose copy read, “Even Jesus Saves. He’ll oogle if you’re frugal, my child.”

Jesus is obviously a successful marketing aid for retailers and doesn’t require whatever MAC forks over to spokesperson Courtney Cox. Also, there’s no worry that he’ll take a swing at a photographer, destroy a hotel room, or be accused of taking steroids. This explains the readily available online products: “Jesus Shaves” t-shirts, Jesus Adhesive Bandages (“Let the son of God heal your hurt”), Dress-Up Jesus magnets, complete with a beach costume and hula outfit though Jesus wrapping paper has been discontinued.