Why Facebook Has No Heart

By: Kathleen J. King ( Little_person View Profile)

Six months after putting up a facebook profile, I’m utterly bored. I’ve said it. I’m sure I’ll be assaulted by the Facebook cultists, but it’s true.

I had failed to check my account until recently when it appeared that several friends had sent me quizzes. I love these friends (and if you’re reading, please don’t take offense), but I don’t have time for quizzes. I’d rather you quiz me in person so we can have a good laugh together. I’d rather we go see a movie. I’d rather we enjoy each other’s company. Lately, I’d just rather connect (eh-gad!) in person.

I admit, I use Facebook to plug articles, videos, and other things that I hope my “community” of friends and colleagues will enjoy and pass on to others. In this way it serves a practical purpose. But it says little about me or what I’m truly about, except for where I live, my interests, perhaps what organizations I give to, or my political or religious affiliation (which I don’t even state). I can network, though LinkedIn is more appropriate for work connections. It’s mostly about surface things.

You can’t communicate much on Facebook. True, you can share quizzes and jokes, and poke people, or send funny icons. And you can see what that old friend in high school now looks like (admit it, you’ve checked), but you can’t contribute much of your personality or truly understand another human being. You can post a link to a story; but it fades into the background. We all use it because we think that’s all there is. Like all trends, someday something else will come along and rapidly replace it.

A friend tried looking for me on Facebook, but found there were a sea of others with my same name out there. (Most of them college students I imagine.) He requested that we be “friends” and I agreed. When we did finally link to each other, I discovered that he already had close to 150 other “friends” on Facebook. Somehow the sweetness of his wanting my “friendship” dissipated. Was I really the 151st person he’d asked to be his “friend”? If you have 150 other friends, what’s one more? Maybe I should have ignored it and spent those ten minutes doing something more fun: like eating, sleeping, or reading.

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Comments

Rabbit - If you come back and read the comments - can you point me to that policy that Google and Facebook have on keeping member information???? P.S. Facebook has wayyyyy too much "loud noise" on it for my liking. Ask me a question, or send me an email saying hello, but please don't bother poking me or sending me a virtual cactus please :(

I completely agree. Some may disagree, but I find MySpace much more user friendly and something that allows at least some of my personality to come forth. I find it much more enjoyable to keep in touch with those I wouldn't otherwise visit with. I look forward to visiting MySpace often, because there is usually someone who wants to be my friend for real reasons rather than to see how many people can be writing on a "wall" or giving "gifts".

I completely agree! For me it is just too much work to keep up with. I am already behind in my own web updates for my business (which does make money for me) so why on earth will I spend a ton of time on something that really does nothing?? Yes, it was nice to find long lost HS friends but as far as using it for a means of communication...I would rather post to my personal blog (and Divine Caroline). Since I am an author, my Facebook profile is more strategic than recreational...just another way I pop up on the search engine radar...you know, showing my softer side. But I could do without having to create yet another online profile.

Amen to that - As a tool to find people and a way to share, it works. As a way to stay in touch and connected, not so much. Thanks! I'm going to post a link to your article on facebook! (isn't that ironic?) hopefully my friends will take the cue and call me :)

I hate to be a rabble-rouser, but I was feeling in the mood for some polarity responding, and thus must argue that services like Facebook never promised to be fulfilling whatsoever. It provides the services that are expected of it, and at the same time, you can close your account whenever you want. Now I agree that there is very little exciting to do on the site, but it does have its other uses that give it value. I personally don't understand how people can get lost in it for hours (as my fiancée does), but to each their own. And despite the fact that they're making millions from other people's "work", they're not much different from other companies who pay a fraction of their employees' value for the work that they do. The only difference is that Facebook is "fun", and engagement in it is voluntary. If you don't want them to profit from your "content" or pageviews, don't visit anymore. Okay, I'm done. Just felt the urge to argue for the other side. Would love to hear retorts. -K

I feel the same. Although I have had friends contact me through there whom I haven't spoken to in 10 years, that was a nice surprise. More recently I've used Linkedin and Twitter to stay connected with my friends and colleagues.

If you take facebook in your mind back to its fundamental concept then what you have is the same social networking tool that we actually enjoyed. While there are aggravating applications it's well intended purpose is being used. To those who have connected with old school mates, lovers and families it is well worth it. So while these aggravating applications will continue to exist it still may only get worse as new developments arise, and well that is nothing more than evolution. Maybe not the evolution the world was expecting, but nonetheless evolution. So while I indeed agree with Jenn, the original poster to this article that facebook is indeed overly indulged consumerism and a prime example of hyper-individualism so is the cell phone, the over the top vehicles and must have homes, outfits, jewelry and even more up to date and innovative designed wal-marts. And while this does not make it right, these are simple examples of evolution. Welcome to the rest of the world. :) Faze

I joined "late," in January, and had no idea what I was in for. I soon after broke up with my boyfriend having NO idea that the news was plastered with a broken heart icon all over every one of my friend's Homepages! I was mortified when I got a message from a friend across the world apologizing for my break-up within hours. WTF? It took me 40 minutes digging within the site to find out how to disable my personal newsfeed landing on other people's pages. Facebook has NO heart, you're right!

I certainly agree that adding someone as a friend on facebook doesn't mean too much. While I'm acquainted with all of my 300+ in real life, I don't necessarily identify as a friend to all of them. At the same time, you can use facebook to develop actual relationships and reunite with completely random people. It'll be a year on Tuesday for me with my boyfriend--who I knew in preschool and who found me through facebook. I wouldn't use it to meet new people, but it's great for reconnecting, especially as a student.

As someone who's made loads of friends strictly through the Internet (I'm flying to South Dakota to be in the wedding of two dear friends I've never 'met' in person before!), I agree that Facebook doesn't have as much personality as most other forms of communication online. Even MySpace is based on communication, people actually producing words and music and videos. Facebook used to be like a cleaner, more streamlined MySpace, but the 'Applications' have, IMO, ruined it. Now most of the interaction you get is just a few clicks of a button asking you to take this quiz... and most of the time, you have to invite others to use an app in order to get full functionality yourself. Internet socializing can be a great thing, but Facebook has devolved to something below that.

Facebook was originally meant for college students so they could network with other students. I hate that they allowed nonstudents to join.

Facebook does suck, I agree. I am ashamed to say that I am a Myspacer. I use it because I can stay connected with friends that I moved away from. Apart from all of the weird people requesting my friendship, I liked being able to see pictures of my friends and reading about their latest travels. It seemed ok, but then my husband told me that it was owned by Fox and now I feel like quitting cold turkey. I hope they wont keep my info.

I do agree that Facebook has been selling out and losing whatever "heart" it may have had, first by allowing non-students to join, and then by allowing all these annoying applications to take over, spawning useless quizzes and polls, etc. So, while it's not perfect, I'd still be hard pressed to give it up.

I'm with you, Verena. Facebook was designed for students, and as a student, I don't know what I'd do without it. I use it to keep in touch with friends back home, friends who have moved away, and to make plans with friends here. It's basically my email account (messages), flickr account (photos), blog (notes), and MySpace page (profile) rolled into one, which is so handy. Maybe I'd feel differently about it if I was older and no longer in school, because Facebook is absolutely great if you're constantly meeting new people, but it's not so great as a METHOD for meeting new people - that's why it gets boring so quickly for people who have self-contained groups of friends. Personally, I think Facebook should have been kept as the student networking site that it was instead of expanding to include everyone and anyone. I've been poked or friend requested countless times by middle-aged men who seem to think Facebook is the next MySpace. No thanks!

FACEBOOK? Someone needs to update her life.