Dear Lisa,
I want to focus on living in the present and enjoying the moment. Yet as an adult with commitments, children, and work, I’ve always focused on the future—how to get from here to there and how to solve problems. It’s a process that I enjoy, because I believe that my present actions can control future outcomes. However, more and more, I realize that I live in the future for the future—a physical impossibility, and I want to pull myself back to living in the present.
How can I bring back my focus to the present without my mind creating issues that I can work on for the future? How can I learn to relinquish my need to try to control my future?
Drop your defenses
Awareness of the present moment boils down to allowing your defenses to drop long enough to realize that you are here … now. How many times during the day do you get caught up in your mental loop—your projections, plans for the future, worries or fears, or regrets about the past? These mental activities dilute your energy and take you out of the present moment, where not surprisingly, you have your best chance of dealing with any problem. I read that the present is called the present because it is a gift. Since experiencing what it feels like to be truly present is worth more than a thousand words about it (and a real gift to yourself), why don’t you try a meditation retreat or a yoga vacation? These are excellent ways to meet yourself for the very first time, to be present in your life in a new way.
S, Kaplan; Larchmont, New York
Listen to your body
Since it sounds as if you spend all your time in your head, get into your body with mediation! To start meditating, you need ten minutes and a corner in your home where you will not be disturbed. A kitchen timer and a cushion are helpful. You can sit on the cushion on the floor or in an upright position in a chair. Listen to your breath.
Once you start sitting, don’t move until the timer goes off—even if you’re in agony, are itchy, or are thinking about the million things you have to do. Stay with all your emotions and physical sensations and keep bringing your mind’s attention back to the breath. Learn to gently control the mind so it doesn’t control you. Empty your mind—give it a rest—and you’ll find it becomes even more creative when you need it.
L. Grime; London, England
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