For years, I hated flying. In fact, it’s still not my favorite thing to do in the world, but I do it because I want to see things. I want to travel. I want to meet people and spend time with those I love that I can’t see everyday.
Just recently, I’ve been able to force myself onto a plane a few times in the past year, not including trips that I’ve had no other choice but to go on for tennis competitions with my team. So in the past year, I have gone to the Philippines (a sixteen hour flight...yeah, imagine that one), Boracay Islands, Florida, and I will be going to Las Vegas very soon. Overall, they’ve been pretty good flights, and thinking about it now, flying isn’t (never thought I would ever say this) not too bad...
But I must admit, I still freak when the flight becomes a little more than bumpy. My hands still get ice cold five minutes into the flight; my palms still get sweaty and my legs start bumping up and down uncontrollably when I start thinking too much; and I still get absolutely ecstatic when the pilot announces that we are headed for landing (Phew! Thank God we made it!).
Maybe it’s because my Dad had a fear of flying, too. Could it possibly be genetic? Doubtful. But I will always remember him holding my hand when I was little (and had yet to understand anything that was going on), his own hands ice cold like mine would be now, on every takeoff and landing. He had a terrible experience though...luggage falling out of the cabins, gas masks coming out of the tops, women screaming, he thought it was all over. After an experience like that, he has an excuse. But what’s mine?
I’ve skipped plenty of opportunities to go places, to see people, and really, to live life to the fullest all because of this fear. I knew something was wrong, and sometimes I’d ponder seeing a therapist to get over it. I thought I was stronger than this...Then, I really began to feel bad when my Mom would invite me to go somewhere, and I would have to come up with excuses for why I couldn’t when the truth simply was, I was too scared. I’d think, I’m too young for it to be all over. Sounds extreme, but that was the reality for me.
