Some general rules: avoid “you are” or “you always.” The objective you are seeking is usually change. You don’t want to sabotage your efforts by phrasing the problem in language that makes it sound intrenchable. Think of your problem as a challenge. This may sound a bit hackneyed, but it means that you are practicing and that there is no failure if your intention is to communicate clearly and with kindness. If an issue feels highly personal to you, that’s great; it’s a signal that this is a hot button for you. Learn from it and use it to make your life richer. In the spirit of practice, see if there is a course in assertive communication at your local community center or college. For further tips, topics, and practice check out the difficult conversations Web site.
Good Luck, Maria and Happy New Year!
February Question
Dear Lisa,
Ever since I was a teenager, I’ve had trouble with excessive worrying. I worry about everything. I worry about bills getting paid on time; I worry about my car, my family, and my health. Now I am twenty-six years old and just entered my ninth month of pregnancy. Soon I will be a first time single mother and I’m worried about that. The worrying has gotten much worse and when one worry is scratched off my list, another quickly takes its place. I often wake up in the middle of the night crying and am afraid to take medication because of the pregnancy. My family says that I am driving them crazy. Please help!—Carrie
Read December’s Divine Guidance.
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