Oh, No She Didn’t

“Like water off a duck’s back,” is arguably for the birds.

I, quite frankly, have not yet mastered that elusive ability to endure by shrugging my shoulders and walking off into the sunset when something happens that I don’t like. I wish I could. Instead, I spend a lot of time thinking and re-thinking, tracing and re-tracing my steps, asking myself the questions that I hope will provide the answers that will help me to get over myself—

and move on.

I admire those ducks with their dry backs and thick skin. I envy their ability to repel. But I, I am of the absorbent type. I soak up my experiences thoroughly, especially the ones that “I would really rather not”. I get tremendous value out of mulling things over and over again, trying to get to the other side of my discomfort, disappointment and pride, trusting that therein lies, for better or for worse, the opportunity to define myself and fine tune the melody of who it is I want to be.

Her attitude landed in my reality like an uninvited guest at a party that was already off to a lukewarm start—and now I was going to have to deal.

“I didn’t come here tonight to have my time wasted!”

I stood before the group, poised and nervous in front of the mic, on the absolute coldest Monday night of the year and I struggled to absorb her frosty response.

“This is not what I thought I was coming for … ”

Now, all I wanted to do was to go home to a hot bath and a couple of warm hugs.

As she turned to sit down, I dutifully, if not sadistically, asked her to remain standing so that I could “hear more”.

“I’m thinking about leaving. I came for some answers and so far all you have been doing is asking us the questions. “

Draped in her over-sized aqua blue sweater and matching pants, I watched her as she indignantly returned to her seat. I searched the other faces in the crowd, hoping for the slightest hint of sympathy, clear that I had better find my game face if I wanted to save face and make it out of this thing alive.