All in all, January 19th to me is my best friend’s birthday. January 19th to me is my Best friend’s death. January the 19th has, over the past three years, become a day that I dread. Ever since Ian passed away on January 19, 2005, I have lost a part of who I am. Have you ever had that friend who becomes part of you? Who is no longer your friend but simply ____. Well my Ian was no longer my friend, he was part of my thoughts, feelings, and always there for me in any case. I can’t find many people to share a deep conversation with, much less someone who knew everything about me and understood half of it better than I did myself.
There will forever be an empty void in my heart, merely filled with fading memories and lost wishes and dreams that slipped through my fingers. Tonight I will have a few drinks, not for me, but for Ian. I’m honestly not emotionally ready to go say anything to him at his burial spot. I become teary-eyed just talking about it, much less talking to him. So today, January the 19th, has forever been determined as my mourning day for the loss of my best friend, Ian. I love you Ian, and I miss you beyond my own comprehension. We will meet again, but not yet … not yet.
So if you see someone with a sad face on today, don’t just assume that they are crabby for some stupid reason, but sit down with them, find out who they are, and you may be surprised that their January the 19th is your February 22nd, and that you are close to every human being in this way. Instead of shunning those who may not be on the same wavelength as yourself, embrace them and love them for who they are. I’m sorry this turned into babbling, but I care about every one of you, no matter how different you are from me, and I hope that your January 19, 2008 was the best day you could ever have imagined.
