Baby or Beast?

By: Rebecca Brown (View Profile)

There’s something wrong with me.

I’m one of those women who stop people in the streets so I can oooh and gooo over their baby or child. The especially cute ones get extra doting and pronouncements of being the most handsome boy or most beautiful girl in the world. The parents smile proudly and answer patiently when I ask, how old? Is he friendly? Does she know how to shake?

You see, I don’t obsess over human babies or children. I think humans are perfectly fine; it’s the dogs I can’t live without. I can’t pass one without trying to start some pointless, dead-end conversation. “Hey, buddy, how’s it going? Mind if I scratch your ears?” While other women excel at lullabies, burping, and bottle-warming, I’m a master in the art of belly-scratching, shaking paws, and hiding pills inside bacon-flavored treats.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a nurturing person, or at least I think I am. I do the things that other compassionate and nurturing people do. But when it comes to the baby gene that it seems like 98 percent of the female population has, I think I missed it.

I like kids, I really do. I can say this with confidence now because I had to do a lot of soul-searching this past year after I learned about a conversation a group of my married girlfriends had over a dinner without me. At some point, the question of whether I was dating anyone and whether I wanted to even have a family came up. Apparently, one person started laughing and said, “Rebecca? I don’t even think she likes kids.”

Ouch. This hurt and annoyed me. What had I ever done to make people think I didn’t like kids? Though I’m closer to some friends’ children than others simply because of geographic proximity, I still, oooh and gooo over the pictures my long distance friends send (genuinely, because their kids really are adorable). Okay, so I don’t send birthday cards and holiday cards. But I don’t send birthday cards and holiday cards to the parents, either. I’ve still got Mother’s Day cards from 2005 sitting on my dresser, for God’s sake. Does this make me a selfish, evil person? Maybe.

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Comments
posted: 01.09.2008
Angel Ratliff
I'm the same way! Finally found the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with after 7 years of post-divorce searching. We talked a lot about kids until recently, when I realized that as great as it sounds to have someone to dress up and take care of (kidding)... I'm just not interested. The concept is great; the trying-to-get-pregnant part would be fantastic, but the rest? Doesn't hold a lot of appeal for me. I love kids, but I also love giving them back to their parents. I know I would be a great mom if I committed to it but I am content to swear at my cat when he doesn't magically open his own catfood tins and feed himself, eat popcorn for dinner some nights and sleep until noon when my man is out of town. I think it is a GOOD thing to recognize that you might not (or definitely not) want kids and base your life decisions on that instead of somebody else's notion of what a family is. I know people that are ridiculously happy with their children...and good for them. :)
posted: 01.08.2008
Helene
I'm the same way!!! Although I'm perfectly fine having puppies and dogs for life, instead of children. I can't help it, it's just ME!
posted: 08.16.2007
C C
There is absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting to have kids. There are TOO many people in the world as it is. Not having kids, in my opinion, is quite the unselfish act these days. Most people who have them do a lot less soul-searching about it than you have - many people just go on automatic drive at a young age and this often leads to, if not complete disaster, at least a lot of problems when they discover they really were not ready to be parents. Either decision is fine, but you need to be true to yourself.
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