Red Light, Green Light

Help me to understand

and this is not a demand—

I want to rationalize

what i see or don’t see in your eyes.

It’s complicated and a part of you

why you treat me, sometimes, how you do.

I love you completely, with all my heart

so how you can ignore and reject me, tares me apart.

I fear for numbness, as caring or asking about you makes you mad

you tell me go to away, do something else, as if I was the one who is bad.

As I write this I ask myself do I treat you like this and if I ever do

I don’t think so, but wish I had or could, then it wouldn’t just be you.

that doesn’t make me better and in fact this is why I ask—

who is this person that appears too often and without a mask?

As strong as I am, and as much as I keep trying

this behavior is damaging and I have stopped crying.

The numbness sets in and I stay the same

caring and loving and asking; am I to blame?

Expressing and communicating it’s something we know

listening and working on stuff, helps us to grow.

So whatever it is that’s been in the middle of us

me, my love and my admiration, these you can trust.

If it’s nothing and this ‘is what it is’ then just show me it’s really so—

when you say nothing and your action say something, I want turn and go.