Pretty much all my life I have dealt with the “friend zone,” a chimerical place where people are put and cast aside as potential boyfriends or girlfriends. From my experiences I would say most of the time I am placed in the “friend zone” because of what I do and say. But that really doesn’t bother me. What does bother me though, are the reasons as to why a girl places me in the “friend zone.”
First off, I’m a nice guy. Hell, I’m a really nice guy. I try my best to treat everyone with respect and kindness, because I know that’s how I’d like to be treated as well. And, I truly believe people deserve that level of respect until proven otherwise. I am a very loyal friend and will do just about anything for my friends, hands down. I am also very honest. I will tell my friends what they need to hear (usually the truth), rather than tell them what they want to hear. I am able to see the good in people and try my best to get others to show it, which is why I believe many of my friends confide in me.
From my experiences and listening to what girls want in a guy, I would say that kindness, loyalty, and honesty are three traits that are very important to possess. Oddly enough though, these three traits are what put me in the “friend zone” more often than not.
I hear a lot of girls say that many guys are a bunch of jerks. Though I can’t say I disagree with them (I have met many jerks in my day), I can say that not all guys are jerks. I hear the story all the time—“He was really nice to me at first then turned into a jerk.”
First off, people rarely change dramatically. If he “suddenly” turned into a jerk, it’s most likely he was always a jerk and you just didn’t take the time to realize it. It’s something the insurance companies would call a “pre-existing condition.”
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