Single Black Female

I was incredibly happy these last few weeks. I have met, what I think, is the right one for me. Being a single black female, people often try to put you in the category of something being wrong with you or call you are homosexual. There may be something wrong with me because I cannot seem to hold a steady relationship, but one thing is that I am not homosexual, not that there is anything wrong with that.

This man came into my life at the perfect moment and he has had my back since that night. He is strong and attentive. Even though it has only been a few weeks, I find myself falling for him. It came crushing down on me like a fresh ocean wave hitting the shores of a deserted beach. Wow, I thought, a man that is just for me. We have gone out a couple of times and have hit it off, but I am so afraid to ask him how he feels about me after so short of time. People say my heart is too kind and sometimes I have the tendency to be a little sensitive. That trait does not lead me in the right direction.

What if I tell him that I have strong feelings for him? Will that scare him off? Do I want to scare him off? Should I just go with the flow and let nature take her course? Who knows with past relationship experiences, either way I go it does not seem to work out in my best intentions, but I have not felt this way about a person, other than my ex-husband, in a long time, and especially in a short period. That is the main thing that scares me is: how do I know he is going to be the one that I should give my heart? The one that God sent to me, and here I am afraid to take that leap out on faith. 

My heart is my sanction, and no one can take that away from me, but there are those who will crush it, and there were those who did just that. I learn not to care what people think or say about me and just take it a step at a time. I have always worn my feelings on my sleeve and that did not prove to be something was beneficial, so I try to portray myself as being hard towards men, but meeting this man has knocked me back and to tell the God’s honest truth is that such a bad thing. I cannot answer that but all I know is that he is here, my dream man as far as the physical, intellect, and personality goes, and I am going to make it work just as long as he is willing.