View ProfileI was at a bar this past weekend and a guy tried to pick me up. Instead of the usual, “Hey, what’s your sign?” He sauntered over to me, chugging down his Saporro, and said:
Your dad a farmer?
Those are some real nice melons!
Yup, I’m a charmer.
I laughed, I cried, and then I threw my Jack and Coke in his face. For the next twenty-four hours, his little rhyme kept running through my head. I wrote it down, studied it and realized … it was a classic Japanese haiku. I called my friends, did some research, and was pleased to learn that there’s a plethora of pick-up line haikus for everyone looking to lay pipe.
Damn girl! You are hot!
Did you cause global warming?
Who cares? You are hot!
Internal: nice tits.
External: looking for smart.
Internal: smart tits.
Hey! Nice Uniform!
Do you work for UPS?
Here is my package ...
Is your name Gillette?
You’re the best a man can get!
Oh well, thought I’d ask.
Pass the tartar sauce.
Has somebody been fishing?
Baby, you’re a catch!
Were you president?
I saw you run for office.
Baberaham Lincoln!
Do you like bacon?
It’s my favorite protein.
Do you want to strip?
Screw the car keys, babe.
You really do not need them.
To drive me crazy.
I want up in that,
That dirty junk in your trunk.
Ga dunka dunk dunk!
What? A camera?
That would make me a big perv!
Now show me some nips!
Mmmmm, daddy likey.
Oops, did I say that out loud?
Smack me, you bad girl.
Girl, you look so good,
I think I want to take you
To Lobsterfest. Now!
There’s nothing like some rhymes, some drinks, some Shakespeare-caliber poetry, and some Japanese culture to get you laid.
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