If Chicks Ran the NFL

By: Femme Fan (View Profile)

The leagues continue to seek to increase their female fan base. Teams don’t have “No Women Allowed” signs hanging outside their stadium door but, once a woman becomes a fan what benefits does she enjoy? The NFL proudly proclaims that football is the most beloved sport of women. But, what is the NFL doing to increase female attendance? Aside from largely unheralded and under promoted NFL 101 sessions, the NFL has done very little to attract, nurture and promote itself to its female fans. Now FemmeFan exposes the little known desires of the NFL’s female fans.

Listen up guys. If Chicks ran the NFL, we would have:

  • Chippendale Dancers as cheerleaders and half-time entertainment. Enough already with those Barbie dolls gyrating in their scanty outfits. We could all do without those silly dogs chasing Frisbees all over the field. Give us some buffed guys in shorts and tank tops dancing to Macho Man!
  • Serve us blended Margaritas featuring the flavor of the day. They’ll help us swallow those shingles with Cheez-Whiz they call Nachos.
  • Wine, because beer makes us “go” way too often, and puts on the pounds. The wine has to be the good stuff not Wyoming Valley vintage 2000 with twist off caps.
  • If we’re drinking the brew we need to get up and go. Give us lots and lots of toilets that smell good! Toss a few Stick-Ups in there and use Charmin’ instead of sandpaper-army-issue toilet paper.
  • Baby-sitting services at every stadium in the USA where you can drop off the rug-rats while you sit back and enjoy the game.
  • We want tours of the locker rooms. The tours would be conducted right after the game and while the players were freshly showered and still drying off.
  • An e-lounge where you can stay wired into every electronic gadget in your life during the game.
  • Team Apparel that fits us and isn’t made for men who are 6’2” and weigh in at 330 pounds.
  • Ladies’ Day at least once a year in every stadium for every sport.
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Errors and Omissions:

Paul Tagliabue was the NFL commissioner from 19892006. The current NFL commissioner is Roger Goodell, who began his tenure on September 1, 2006.

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Comments
posted: 07.18.2007
Jana Cleveland
That would be so cool for chicks to take over the NFL. Would be even better of chicks took over NASCAR! LOL!
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