Fortune cookie say: if guy ask you to foot the bill, you know where to put other foot.
The gay woman’s perspective: Jody Fischer
Picture this, two lesbian women are out on a date. Who pays? Or worse, is it a date, or is it just a friend thing? Talk about confusing! Be glad that this is an issue you don’t have to deal with. And yet I find myself offering you the same advice that I would to anyone, regardless of her/his sexual identity. Who is right? Everyone and no one. Just because you have a rule about the first date and who does the paying doesn’t mean that it’s a universal rule, or even a golden one.
You have your standards and that’s fine, but he may have a different approach. So I wouldn’t let my self-worth get caught up in who pays. Would you only pay for the guy if you find that you like him? I hope not. I suppose tradition lends itself to the man paying, but most folks I know only see that world when watching classic movies. Honey, this ain’t Casablanca. And unless you are sitting across the table from Humphrey Bogart’s ghost, let your traditional ideas of who pays be “gone with the wind.”
And by the way, next time I am in Austin, I would love to take you out for lunch. No, it wouldn’t be a date. And as for who pays, this one is on me.
The gay man’s perspective: Darren Maddox
Girl, you’re 122 percent right about everything you’re saying. If he asks, he pays! If you ask, you should pay (or at least offer to anyway). Chivalry is not dead! A true gentleman would not let you pay for dinner on your first date unless he forgot his wallet. Then he better prove it. Think about the date like it’s a birthday party. If you get someone excited about taking her out to dinner for her birthday, would you ever expect her to pay for her own meal? It’s the same way with a date!
Concerning your question about whether or not it “means something” if he asks you to split the bill on the first date, hell yes it means something. It means he clearly misplaced the manners his mamma gave him and you better count your lucky stars you’re finding this out before you get too involved with his cheap ass. But if this does happen again, go ahead and pay for your half. Then head for the door smiling at the fact that you won’t end up marrying the bastard.
