The 4-Way: I Fantasize About Other Women

I’d be sitting on the patio of my ginormous villa in Lake Cuomo, Italy, perhaps waiting for my dreamy lover George Clooney to pop out of the shower so we could enjoy some ridiculously expensive caviar and champagne. (“Oh, George, darling, we’re so RICH! Let’s roll naked in money!”) If I had a dollar for every amazing, kind, smart, hot, funny, single, MAN I know, I’d have … $2—one for Chris and one for Darren.

My point is, I’ve felt that feeling of not having a single prospect on the horizon. And during these times, I’ve often thought about how nice it would be to have the best of both worlds. I’ve found myself staring at women on the streets: could I be attracted to a woman? Is it so selfish to want it all—that great connection I have with my women friends (and some men too) and sweaty, hot, marathon sex with a man? I’ve tried to make the worlds collide in my fantasies, but it just never works out. The man always wins. I want a committed relationship (and the sex with all those descriptors) with a man, not a woman—no matter how sexy I think Sienna Miller and Kate Beckinsale are. But you, my dear, keep coming back to it, so I think it’s worth pursuing.

You said you’re bored and that you’ve had racy fantasies that you’ve never acted on. Even a poor-man’s Dr. Phil could connect the dots on this one: stop being bored and go make one of those fantasies happen, with a man or a woman. I’m all for true love and commitment, but with not a prospect in sight and a head full of fantasies never acted upon, I say have a little fun. You don’t have to have sex necessarily, just be daring, whatever that is for you. But if you’re daring with a woman, be fair to her and let her know you’re a first-timer and not sure where you’re going with it. Have fun. And as my fellow-southerner friend BTB likes to say: “Don’t be dumb, girl, get ya some.”


The gay man’s perspective: Darren Maddox


LL, let’s think about why you’re even asking this question. Is it because you’re so frustrated with men these days that you’re thinking there just has to be something else out there? Is it because you think other people “just wouldn’t understand” if they ever found out? Or is it something else? Maybe the only reason you can’t imagine a long-term relationship with a woman is because your past relationships have only involved men. Did you think of that? Clearly those have not worked out so well or we wouldn’t be talking right now.

I’m just sayin’, some girl-on-girl playtime may be just what the doctor ordered.