The gay woman’s perspective: Jody Fischer
Dear AT, sounds to me like you know exactly what you want to do. Why are you letting your friend dampen your momentum? From what you wrote, I would say that you are a take-charge, action-oriented person. Let’s look at the facts here—you initiated your divorce and you recognize that life is short. If I have done the math correctly, you have been on a solo emotional/sexual train for over three years. So hop on that dating train, lady!
And as far as your friend is concerned, I’m wondering why her high falootin’ values have so much pull on you. My high falootin’ values say not only is it the right time for you, but three months into a separation is a perfectly respectable time to begin dating.
Many women I know feel paralyzed after a break-up or divorce and don’t feel ready for the dating scene. Then there are those who date and are still married and create a “don’t ask, don’t tell” scenario. And you certainly don’t fall into that category. Be honest about where you are in your process and when you meet someone, really listen to where he is.
You can and you should hold your head up high as you walk down the path to finding the right person for you. You have made the right choice at the right time. And if your friend doesn’t agree, that really says more about her than it does about you, doesn’t it?
The straight man’s perspective: Chris Kennedy
Poor taste? Listen, technically, it’s poor taste to promise to be with someone until death do you part and then renege on that promise and get a divorce, so I say let’s let go of the silly judgment on questions of taste. Your friend is holding on to some semantics issue that seems a little irrelevant. So she’s fine with you dating in three months? All of a sudden your manners are intact if you wait ninety days to date? A magical wind will blow over the bluffs of the nearby ocean bringing manners and good taste? As they say in your O.C., whatever.
