It’s cool to be adventurous, even try the anal thing if you want to, but make sure you do it because you want to. Why does he want to try anal intercourse in the first place? Has he heard that it’s better and he just wants confirmation? Did he try it with some other girlfriend and he thinks he’s missing that in his relationship with you? Get to the bottom of the situation (yes, pun intended) to see why he wants to go down that path. That may help answer some questions for you and open up a whole new line of communication in the process. If he’s like most guys, he’s probably going to feel a little uncomfortable even answering the questions, and he may even get a little embarrassed and clam up. He might also shy away from ever bringing it up again. Either way, remember that it’s your body, not his. Do with it what you want, not what he expects you to do.
The gay woman’s perspective: Jody Fischer
Both of you need to relax, literally and figuratively. That’s the key here. I’m wondering what turns you off about this—is it the possibility of pain or what? You mention that you are a sexually adventurous person, so what makes this taboo for you? Many people I know—men and women—are turned off by the idea of any anal play. “In the end,” some learn to enjoy it while others do not. You may not want to experiment with your boyfriend for your first time, but instead safely and slowly on your own. (If you know what I mean.) If you’re looking for inspiration, there are many good books on how to do this.
It worries me a bit that your boyfriend is calling you selfish for not wanting to check this out. That seems unfair and immature on his part. If he presses the issue, he’s the selfish one. Don’t check it out just to prove to him that you’re not selfish. And if you do some experimenting and find that this isn’t something you want to pursue, good for you.
