Dear 4-Way,
Recently, I had an appointment with my gynecologist for my annual pelvic exam. My regular doctor is out on maternity leave so my appointment was with a different doctor I’d never met—a very attractive woman. We talked for a few minutes about the standard topics you talk about before a pelvic exam, and then somehow, the conversation shifted to regular stuff like movies and great restaurants. She was really funny and as I mentioned before, very attractive. Would it be weird to ask out my gynecologist? And if it’s not weird, how would you suggest I do it?—BG, San Francisco, California
The straight woman’s perspective: Rebecca Brown
I have one word for you, BG: ewwwwwww! Yes, it’s weird to ask out your gynecologist! Seriously, has your dating pool narrowed so much that you have to resort to a woman who swabs your cervix for a cell sample? For the love of stirrups, girl, I think you need to open up your dating speculum a little wider!
Okay, I’ll stop being judgey for a second and try to examine (ahem) your question a bit. You say you talked about “regular stuff.” While that’s lovely and sounds very civilized, it could be that she was trying to make you comfortable with a little small talk while she inspected the deep, dark orifices of your girlie privates. And maybe—just maybe, that’s all I’m sayin’—you thought that small talk was more meaningful than it actually was.
But maybe she did really like you. What do I know? I’m a straight woman and I’ve never felt a hint of flirtation from any of my gynecologists (thank God), male or female. I would only ask her out if you think there was a real connection—and be honest. Because if you decide to do it, you need to switch doctors—and I’m not talking switching people in the office, you need to switch buildings too. I know she’s not your regular doctor, but you need to channel Dionne Warwick and a few of her Psychic Friends so you can visualize the future. And one version of that future is this: you guys date, you have all kinds of dirty, fun sex, you have a tragic breakup, you lose twenty pounds and become breakup-tastic, and then one day, you’re sitting in an exam room wearing your paper towel gown, waiting for your regular doctor, and guess who steps into your exam room to borrow some KY Jelly? That’s right. Awkward. Switch doctors and send her a note asking her out, if you must. But I still say ewww.
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