Smell You Later: The 4-Way

By: The 4-Way Panel (View Profile)

So go do some shopping, your nose will know which products to buy for him. I’m guessing your nose will probably pick out some body spray and some good soap.

The gay woman’s perspective: Jody Fischer

The nose knows, RC. Our sense of smell is potent. It is a primal way all animals, including humans, make sense of their world. My cat doesn’t care what you look like or how you act, but she bases her decision to spend time with you exclusively on your scent. It’s interesting to note that the longer we’re together (ten years now), the more she wants to spend time really smelling my hands and face. I know, I know, I spend an inordinate amount of time with my cat, and need to meet and smell more humans. I’m working on it.

RC, I’m going to assume that the fun you say you have with this guy includes being intimate with him. Is it fun to kiss him, sit next to him in a movie theater, or hold hands? Or do most of your fun times take place outside of what many communication experts call the “intimate zone”—less than an arm’s length from the body? I spend lots of time with teachers and folks that I work with, but usually our physical closeness does not fall within that intimate zone. So unless they have on a strong perfume or cologne, I don’t use my nose to judge the quality of our connection. You, my dear, are in the intimate zone with this guy and I say, if it doesn’t smell right, then it isn’t. I suppose you could get really nosey about it and inquire about his diet and see if altering that may change his scent, but that takes time and a huge life change on his part. Short of taking a shower together and rubbing each other down with some good smelling soap, for me, a stinky connection makes no sense.

The gay man’s perspective: Darren Maddox

Well Tampa, last time I checked, you aren’t exactly living in a place where deodorant is optional due to climate control so I think you’re justified to have a chat with your little Buccaneer.

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posted: 02.25.2008
Sunshowers
Like Juliette said, smell is such a primal thing. I LOOOOOVE the way my boyfriend smells, even right after the gym. Even his sweaty smell is a turn on, and that's the way nature intended it. Now, he doesn't skip showers and stew in his sweat, that's a whole different thing. If your guy's problem is hygiene based then try to work around it, but if that's just his natural scent then maybe it's not meant to be.
posted: 08.29.2007
Juliette Betancourt
I once had an affair with a man because of his smell. No joke. I smelled him and I was hooked, and what an affair it was. Never underestimate the power of pheromones.
posted: 08.16.2007
Sarah Sibley
I swear I've read somewhere that a diet affects smell a lot. Like if you eat a lot of garlic or meat, then your natural smell is affected. Might be worth logging his eating habits for a week.
posted: 08.15.2007
Lisa.fm
Wow, RC, that's a tough one. I would think that the smell would really start wearing on you. I agree with Chris - that you should be proactive by buying the soaps or (if you don't mind the scents) colognes. Or, even better - see if showering together helps. Make it 'fun' for him to keep the odor under control as much as possible. This is a situation where you should really determine if this is the ONLY potential deal breaker in the relationship. If so, work with it. If not, it's probably time to move on. Good luck!
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