Smell You Later: The 4-Way

Personally I’ve never understood bad hygiene. It’s not only a lack of self-respect but also a smelly slap to all who stand downwind of the inconsideration. From those people at the gym who conveniently forget the deodorant while they’re on the treadmill for thirty minutes to the greaseball who forgets to wash his hair or thinks he can just brush his teeth when he gets to work, it’s just bad form and uncalled for.

Here’s my question for you: is this stench a new thing or has it always been there? You say you’ve been seeing him for some time. Have you been smelling him for a while too or is this a new development? If so, just ask him what the hell the deal is with his funky freshness and tell him to hit the showers. If you’re shy about it, tune into a Pepe Le Peu rerun and casually remind him of the reason poor Pepe always had the ladies squirming out of his arms.

Look, I could take the high road here and tell you to go out, get him a nice cologne, and compliment him over and over on how great he smells when he wears it and maybe he’ll take the hint. Bullshit. If that works, he’ll just mask the stench and you’ll wind up with stink water on your hands. Tell him to bathe and act like an adult already. You’re not his mom and he’s not Matthew McConaughey, who revealed that he likes to “smell like a man” so he often avoids wearing deodorant. Your guy needs to buck up or you’re out of there.

The straight woman’s perspective: Rebecca Brown

There’s a big difference between natural body odor and just plain ole stank. Why don’t you invite him to join you for a sexy little shower? Get him all soapy in his hard-to-reach places and also take advantage of some physical closeness where his offending body odor is masked by Irish Spring. Once your shower is over, you’ll get to see what his “reset” smell is and you can determine if what you’ve been smelling is the “I just ran six miles after a hard day at the construction site” naturally stinky man smell, or if it’s the “I always smell this way so you’re gonna have to suck it up or bolt” bad pheromone smell.