If you determine the odor can be washed away, I think you can talk to him about it playfully: “Baby, you smell so manly, I think we might need a team shower!” But if you discover it’s a pheromone thing, I hate to say it, RC, I think you’re doomed—unless you’re willing to stay with a smelly dude for eternity. You can’t tell him about it because he can’t do anything to change his tainted pheromones—he’s stuck with them. Bringing it up might make you feel better but it’ll make him feel like shit, so I say don’t do it.
For the record, you’re not being petty. Smell is a huge part of attraction, and if you’re with someone whose smell prohibits you from getting physically closer, that’s probably going to prohibit you from getting emotionally closer too. I’m not sure how it can work. You need to think hard about what you can live with—or what will eventually set off your gag reflex daily—and make a decision. If it were me, I’d say so long to Funky McFunkerson.
Read Part Two of August’s 4-Way column.
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