She’ll feel comfortable and get through it all because of you. She’ll owe her recovery to you and to top it off, she’ll unleash her sexuality on you. That sound good to you? Could happen, but it probably won’t.
This sounds like something pretty serious and the healing process could take a very long time. I doubt you’re ready to go through this with her just so a guy can get a little love. And who’s to say that she won’t get through this and realize that you’re not the guy for her?
Back to the third person referencing, a guy and this girl both need some love … I just don’t think at this point, they’re going to find it together.
The gay woman’s perspective: Jody Fischer
Wow, there are some big and important issues here. First of all, a healthy relationship includes giving and receiving—in ALL aspects of the relationship. You mention that this is just a casual thing, but if you are hooking up—albeit casually—it’s a relationship of sorts.
I’m assuming here that this woman has been sexually abused and isn’t really talking about it with you. GQ, she needs to be working with a professional about what happened to her. Perhaps she feels safe somehow as the one being touched, but not as the one doing the touching. I am unsure if she is using your connection to recreate what happened to her with her abuser(s), or to play out the opposite scenario. Either way, I don’t think it will bring her healing or closure or trust. You don’t need to be her therapist here, but you should let her know that she needs to talk to a therapist, preferably one who specializes in abuse.
Also, are you the only guy she’s set up these “hands off” boundaries with, or is this just how she does relationships? I would certainly want to know that.
Now, GQ, as for you, what’s so hot about sex when you’re not being touched?! Really ask yourself what makes it so appealing for you. I assure you that it can be twice as hot when touch is given and received.
