The gay man’s perspective: Darren Maddox
BG, since there’s a little lag time between the time we receive a question and the time we answer it, I’ll bet this one has already worked itself out. But let’s pretend it hasn’t, just for shits and giggles. So now you’re worried that he won’t call you, that he doesn’t respect you, that he thinks you may be the town whore and he should head for the hills before the red light above your door burns out.
Here’s the deal, sweetie, you liked the guy and he liked you, you slept together. It happens—all the time. Is this your first time to let this happen? Do it again. All I’m saying is, if you like him and he likes you, then I don’t see a reason why you shouldn’t go for it if the mood is right. The sex will be passionate—or maybe it’ll be shitty and you’ll know whether you want to move forward with the relationship. If it’s meant to work out, it will. If it isn’t, it won’t. And if it wasn’t ever there to begin with and you were just doing him because you were bored and it was Wednesday then maybe you are the town whore and you should seek help. I’m kidding! Stop beating yourself up about it and be happy that you learned something more about yourself through the process.
The straight woman’s perspective: Rebecca Brown
Standing in today for Rebecca is Magic 8-ball. Here’s what 8-ball has to say about this. Is there a chance it can work? From my extensive focus groups on this topic (eavesdropping on people at Starbucks on Sunday mornings), I’d say outlook not so good, better ask again later. I do know of one couple who’s been happily married for several years, and they had sex on their first date. But they’re kind of an anomaly, like Lindsay Lohan at an AA meeting.
Here’s the thing that my guy friends always tell me: guys are hunters and chasers, they like to win. By sleeping with him immediately, you’ve given him nothing else to hunt or chase; he’s already won. There’s no more anticipation of anything. This guy will never again wonder what your naked body will feel like next to his, because he’s felt it. He won’t sit at his desk and wonder about the size of your nipples, or daydream about whether the sex with you will be hot because he already knows.
