I know it seems like the prize of this hunt and chase should be your affection and a fabulous relationship, but it doesn’t work like that. You need to keep him feeling like he has something else to win. While you’re doing this, you’ll be getting to know each other, so that by the time you actually do sleep with him, you’ll have a solid emotional foundation and you can stop with the stupid games.
In the meantime, if you find yourself in this situation again, why not try a little experiment the next time you sleep with someone on the first date (and I wouldn’t make that a habit). Right before you leave, tell him you had a great time, but that this won’t be happening again. Then kiss him on the cheek and walk as sexily as you can out the door. My guess is you’ll hear from him within four days.
I’m not advocating game-playing here, but for God’s sake, woman—if you’re gonna do the nasty with a guy on the first date, you should at least have a strategy! Good luck and let me know how it goes.
The straight man’s perspective: Chris Kennedy
There’s a chance your quickie relationship can work, but there’s more of a chance it won’t. I don’t think you blew it—if he wants more, he’ll be back. How can we know his sincerity? Only time will tell.
As for you, do you regret sleeping with him? Or do you regret sleeping with him only if he doesn’t call you back? Hopefully, your decision to sleep with him did not have the agenda of keeping him interested, because let’s just say that doesn’t usually work out so well in the long run. If you’re someone who acts on her impulses and is okay with that, then sleeping with him isn’t the big issue here.
I don’t think the relationship’s potential is affected by the fact you slept with him on the first date, or the tenth. If he likes you and your chemistry holds him, then the relationship will continue. I’m not trying to minimize the sex, but that isn’t enough to tip the scale of his interest one way or another. If sex is all he was after, then you’ll know that pretty soon. Be safe and continue to date. That’s the only way to know.
